Heart Eyes- A Gory Good Time for Valentine's Day

I have to admit that between its name and the goofy mask I was a bit… let’s say uninterested in Heart Eyes. Kind of felt like a slasher movie trying to hard to be slasher trash, and I just didn’t give it much thought. Slowly more information came out and I started to shift, but it wasn’t until early reactions that it finally got me. People promised that it was a silly but entertaining romp that delivers exactly what you want and what it promised. I am a lover of more “artsy” and serious horror, of course I am, but damn it all sometimes you just want something with a more fun vibe. It seemed like Heart Eyes was set to deliver, and boy did it.

Briefly and with as few spoilers as possible, Heart Eyes is about “The Heart Eye Killer” who has been striking in random towns on Valentine’s Day. While HEK targets couples they are an opportunity killer as well leaving not just dead couples but a whole slew of bodies in their wake. It’s now the 3^rd year and HEK strikes in Seattle, with a gruesome opening.

Our main characters have a “meet cute” that quickly devolves into a “meet ugly” gradually getting worse. Yet for some reason HEK has decided they are the couple to focus on and they spend the night trying to survive.

What works so well about this movie is that it really manages to be multiple things at once and strikes a good balance at them. It is part Hallmark original with overly stressed woman who hates romance but the charming man keeps trying. It is part a tongue-in-cheek take down of both slasher movies and rom-coms. It is happy to poke fun at both and includes a lot of pointing out the tropes of said Hallmark originals and completely botching them. But it’s also a pretty decent slasher movie at the same time.

None of it is perfect. In an effort to be both romantic while also calling out those movies it tries a little hard at times. A few of the jokes are more groan worthy than laugh out loud. And while it has some gruesome kills and chase scenes it never fully lands the tension. It also loses its way a little toward the end. The climax… does not live up to the rest of the movie.

HOWEVER, all of this being said the movie does still delivery a solidly good time where even the complaints don’t manage to ruin the experience. It is funny both in the way it makes fun of itself but also in how it leans into horror comedy at times. The lead characters are interesting, if again a little much at times, but they strike a good balance of fitting archetypes while still bringing a little bit extra to the table.

I am also a sucker for Devon Sawa’s return to horror, even if his character is a total dick… pun somewhat intended, and those who have not seen the movie you’ll get if you watch it.

And again, the movie just delivers what it set out to be. I was entirely wrong that it was trying to be intentional slasher trash, it is not. It is trying to be an entertaining, funny, but still properly bloody time and it’s exactly that. I wish it had tightened up the script a little, again especially with that ending, and built up a bit more tension, but all in all I left completely satisfied.

If you are a genre fan and aren’t sure, I say go for it. It really is the type of just plain fun horror movie that fans want sometimes. It wouldn’t surprise me if this becomes a regular February watch for me.